POLITICAL COMMENTARY CLIPA DAY IN THE LIFE OF A STATE CAPITOL LOBBYIST
A Wry Point of View from a Legislative Analyst & Policy Consultant
By Julie Simon
8:30 A.M. Read the morning papers to see if there is any pertinent legislative information for you to know--or just read the highlights from every major paper in the State of California, which are printed by the Senate Republican Caucus. This will save you loads of time. (I used to type up those news summaries every morning when I was at the Capitol.) Check the internet’s publication of the Legislature’s Daily File to see what’s on the hearing and floor schedule for various bills. Freak out if a bill hearing has been canceled or a piece of legislation has been gutted. Call to rant and rave to an aide or consultant. (Boy, did I love that.)
9:00 A.M. Call around to different aides and consultants at the Capitol to set up lunch appointments to discuss pressing issues. Call several staff members to “bug” them about how a senator or assemblyman might be voting on an upcoming bill. (Frankly, I hated being bugged by certain lobbyists. I much preferred a quiet lunch to discuss matters more civilly, one one one. A lobbyist who cares about individuals is far more effective than a superficial, flattering, pesky nuisance who wants only to get his/her job done and forget about whom he/she may harm or inconveniencing the process.)
10:00 A.M. Take the Lightrail to the Capitol (b/c parking is outrageous) and stop by several offices to “pop in” and say hi to various aides and consultants, and hopefully a few senators and assemblymen, drop off cookies for certain friends, and make sure various press releases or letters get to the right offices.
10:30 A.M. Wait in line at a hearing and, after dozing off a few times, finally get a chance to speak in favor of a specific bill that pertains to your company or industry.
12:00 A.M. Shake hands with several other lobbyists and smile to pretend you’re not enemies with them, shake hands with senators and assemblymen and hope to get a chance to say more than five words to any of them, flatter an aide or consultant and try to get them to open up with information on how a legislator might vote, and keep bugging them with your needs to get language changed in this bill or that bill. (You can tell I hated that approach.) Rush off to meet with your aide or consultant for lunch across the street at X restaurant.
12:15 P.M. Sit down with your legislative contact to have a leisurely lunch and dump piles and piles of information on the table for him/her to peruse while trying to eat. Maybe rant and rave if that staff member failed to convince his/her senator to put certain language into a bill. (Those were the worst lobbyists. They’ve got to understand that often staff members have no control over how a senator or assemblyman votes. We can only inform them. It is not the staff’s job to take sides with a lobbyist.)1:30 P.M. Thank your contact excessively and rush off to another hearing and another hour of waiting in line to speak for three minutes on a topic pertaining to your industry. Work on your appointment scheduling book and whisper to your fellow colleagues and lobbyists sitting around you. Schmooze a bit with this or that consultant or aide who might be sitting next to you and explain your views on the subjects being discussed. (I actually enjoyed this part. Listening to lobbyist’s comical and snide remarks throughout a hearing can be quite fun.)
2:30 P.M. Hurry from office to office, meeting with more staff members and perhaps a senator or assemblyman, drop off more cookies, art, cards, crafts, potpourri--anything within lawful boundaries to help them remember you--and piles of documentation that will help staff workers in making their decisions on language in a bill.
4:30 P.M. Head back to your office or hotel to work on appointment scheduling, write thank yous to your contacts, and make a conference call to discuss your contacts for the day.
6:00 P.M. Head back to a restaurant to meet with another senatorial staff member or chief of staff to pitch your business needs yet again.
7:30 P.M. Head over to a lounge or conference room where other members of your business or industry have prepared an elaborate dessert party, speaking presentation, and multimedia event for legislators and staff to attend to learn more about your needs and concerns. Chat with everyone you can, answer questions, be as persuasive as possible, and schmooze like a gushing puppy dog. (I always hated that, personally.) Stay late, talking with staffers and legislators.
10:00 P.M. Fly or drive home, read over the next day's schedule, call your secretary, spouse or loved one(s), and plan the next day's various lobbying activities.
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TRAVEL CLIP
....Like a scene from Currier and Ives, Scott Valley is a place of timeless wonder in a small, hard-working ranch and farm community. If you desire an escape to place with a down-home country feel and few tourists, Scott Valley is your destination.
The first town you’ll encounter as you head up and over the mountains dividing Yreka and Scott Valley, is historic Fort Jones. Take a stroll down Main Street’s well-worn, high-curbed sidewalks and admire the old brick and mortar structures. Shop the talented creations of local artisans on display at The Guild Shop and Dance Hall Mercantile, then have a bite to eat at the freshly painted, adobe-orange Lalo’s Restaurant for authentic south-of-the-border cuisine.
Keep heading south on Highway 3 and you’ll come to Etna, another valley town enfolded by thickly wooded hills and towered by a vast mountain wilderness filled with alpine lakes, meadows and hiking trails....
INTERIOR DECORATING CLIP
....Feng Shui interior design boils down to very basic psychology and common sense principles.
Piles of papers on the kitchen counter, a coat hung over the back of a chair, shoes lying on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink, toys strewn under the table, crumbs on the stove--the very thought of these negative elements produces a feeling of stress and agitation (especially if you're the one who has to clean up). These seemingly small elements of disorder in just one room of your house or workplace can add to an overwhelming chaos that is bound to negatively affect your life.
One of Feng Shui's most basic purposes is to create order and thus peace and calm in any given environment. When a room is clean and various items are neatly stored away in closets, cupboards, drawers, covered baskets or specially designed boxes, one can think more clearly and calmly. Do you have a favorite vacation spot, hiking trail, park or room in your home where you go to clear your mind and regain a sense of sanity? Chances are, whether intentional or not, that place is filled with Feng Shui design principles....
CHILDREN'S ADVENTURE CLIP
....The soft rain fell in random showers, cooling Budapest’s hot, humid summer heat. Alex jumped down behind a car parked on the wide sidewalk. The car was so small, he could barely hide from the man in the black raincoat. Alex held his breath, praying he wouldn’t be seen, as the man hurried past. Crouching down on his hands and knees, Alex froze, watching, waiting for his pursuer to turn the corner.
Suddenly, the man stopped and glanced back in Alex’s direction. Alex closed his eyes. He felt sick. He didn’t dare to run now, or he would certainly be seen. When he opened his eyes again, the raincoat man was no longer in view. Seeing his chance, Alex arose from the muddy sidewalk and darted through the rain to stand flat against a wall. He felt closed in and dizzy on this dark, narrow street towered on either side by old, exhaust-stained stone buildings. As pedestrians crowded past, he kept his eyes glued on the street corner, where he thought the raincoat man must have gone.
But then, out of the corner of his eye, Alex saw the unmistakable flash of a black raincoat across the street. He dropped to the sidewalk, hiding behind the skirts of am older woman sitting on a wooden crate. She was sheltered beneath an enormous umbrella, selling garden fresh cucumbers. Slowly, cautiously, Alex peered out from behind the woman’s skirts. There again was the man in the black raincoat, still searching for him. How could he escape?....
SLICE-OF-LIFE VIGNETTE SAMPLE CLIP
....As the evening progressed, it was looking more and more as if guests were opting to save room for the “real” desserts and pass on the confusing gelled salads. Pretending not to notice, the salad ladies kept an apprehensive watch on their molded gels--and they kept score. Mrs. Brianch smiled triumphantly when her salad was finally scooped by two guests. However, because one helping was scooped by Mrs. Brianch’s own husband, only one of the helpings was a true count. Mrs. Johnson had three scoops taken from her famous cranberry goop, but, again, the double scoops taken by her husband only tied Mrs. J’s score with Mrs. B’s. Mrs. Olan was ahead by one point, but she could not relax. The three women socialized while keeping a tireless eye on the potluck table.
Tensions mounted. When she thought no one was looking, Mrs. Johnson emptied an enormous scoopful of her cranberry salad into a coffee cup. Unfortunately, she spilled some red gel on her white silk blouse--”Scarlet Letter” evidence of her crime. Mrs. Brianch was caught “green-handed” stuffing a giant spoonful of cottage cheese gel into a hollowed-out potato skin. Clever, but not as clever as Mrs. Olan, who began to panic when she saw that her salad was losing the competition. Leaning over the table for a second helping of Mrs. Denis’ shepherd’s pie, she clandestinely reached beneath her plate, scooped up a wobbling spoonful of her golden salad and stuffed it into her purse!....
HEALTH ARTICLE CLIP
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you are not alone. Thousands of people are working harder on their health and fitness and getting further behind. Why? There are many possibilities, but this one may be new to you: enterobacteria dysbiosis, otherwise known as intestinal bacterial overgrowth.
Gastrointestinal bacteria, such as e-coli, klebsiella, salmonella, shagella and anthrax, are important and normal for healthy bowel function. However, when your immune system is weak, enterobacteria can become overproductive, resulting in pneumonia, chronic fatigue, muscle wasting and any number of possible illnesses, including extreme morning sickness, otherwise known as hyperemesis of pregnancy.
